


Deteriorate by choice.

by 10hart1k



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily Feels, Drug Use, Heavily hinted Prostitution, Minor Violence, Multi, potential jason/dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 04:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 6,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5115626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10hart1k/pseuds/10hart1k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are so many ways to tell when someone begins using drugs. They all new what to look out for, but why would you look at someone you were close to with that mindset. Especially someone who seems so unlikely to drink alcohol let alone take drugs.<br/>Its understandable they missed all signs.</p><p>(Or the one where Dick has a drug addiction and only Jason notices)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one - Barbara.

Twice Barbara could have noticed something was wrong.

Lose interest in social activity.

Dick and Barbara both enjoyed seeing each other, so they made a point of meeting up every Sunday. So Barbara was shocked when on August fith she received a message from her childhood friend saying he was sorry and could not make it.

This pattern continued for five weeks, whenever Barbara tried to call it went un-answered. She knew he was ignoring her.

The sixth week was breaking point.

She stormed out of her front door, car keys in hand. She drove all the way to his apartment in Bludhaven. If he wanted to ignore her then fine, but she would get a reason why. When she got to the apartment building it started to rain. She pressed the buzzer four times, with no acknowledgement. Eventually she managed to slip through whilst an old women was leaving. He answered the door after three knocks.

He looked scruffy. His hair was unkept and there was a stubble around his jaw. He wore a pair of shorts and a blue button up shirt.

"Hey"

He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"You know when someone ignores your calls it generally means to leave them alone"

He didn't say it cruelly, he didn't use any emotion really.

"What is going on with you?"

She didn't want to sound so aggressive but she was so tired.

"Nothing, why?"

He honestly did not understand why she was there.

"Why? Oh I don't know, its not like you have been ignoring me for over a month."

Staying calm was hard when continued to stand there emotionless.

"I have not been ignoring you, I've just been busy. This every Sunday arrangement is an inconvenience."

She could hear the aggression in his voice.

"What is more important than one of your best friends?"

She knows how she sounds. Hurt and clingy. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs, like she is being an annoyance.

"Things that don't concern you! If your that bothered I'll text you some plans. Happy!"

His voice was raised and people stared at her in the hallway. She knows what this, what she, looks like. She mumbles a quick "I have to go" and leaves, head down and cheeks flushed. When she is back in her car she hits her steering wheel in frustration, and later in her apartment she will tell herself the tears gathering in her eyes are from anger.

Dick never does send her plans to meet up but this time she leaves things be and makes plans with Tim instead.


	2. Barbara continued.

Change in social circles.

Barbara had known Dick for years. She knew that he could be nice to anyone but he could only spend time with certain people. So she was caught un aware at the news Dick was not only ignoring her but the Titans as well. She couldn't understand it. Dick was not cruel and wouldn't ignore his friends.

Except that was exactly what he was doing.

No one had actually seen him for weeks. Which is why she was in complete shock when she saw him in Gotham.  He was not there in costume. He was sat in a park, under the shade of a tree. He was with five people, three guys and two girls. She recognised three of them from when she went to public school. She assumed the other two were from Bludhaven. It was strange to see Dick hanging around with people like that. From what she knew about the three, Jake, Cole and Holly, they didn't seen very nice. Jake had been to juvie for assault, Holly was caught hot wiring a car and Cole was arrested for male prostitution.

"Dick!" She had called out his name and when he turned she waved, smiling. He did not. He just raised his arm to wave, it was half hearted. He had turned back around then, pretending she was not there. She considered going over to talk to him but he had made it clear she was not wanted. She left instead.

Barbara didn't dwell on it. Dick was in a different city and growing up. He was allowed to make new friends. Presides people grew out of old friends all the time


	3. Alfred.

Alfred had signs he could have noticed, two to be precise.

Loss of appetite.

It was rare for Master Dick to visit the manor, so when he did Alfred would make dishes the lad enjoyed most. He would later claim it was coincidence that Dick came around the same day the dish was made. One food Master Dick had enjoyed since childhood was steak, rare , covered in gravy with mashed potatoes and two slices of bread. So this is what Alfred prepared. He was suprised when the young master only took a few small mouthfuls before stating he was full and promptly excusing himself. This behaviour continued throughout Dicks stay. Every attempt Alfred made to get the boy to eat something was met with rejection.

No interest in sleep.

It was not hard to notice Dick's peculier sleeping patterns. He would stau up late, when it was entering early morning, even when he was not on patrol. When he did go to bed it took a lot of coaxing from Alfred. Afterwords alfred would hear him moving constantly. By the time it goes silent and Dick is asleep the first rays of sunlight could be seen.

Alfred did not think anything of it. He put it down to Dick being uncomfortable. He had not lived in the mansion for years, and his visits were scarce. It would make sense for Dick to be uncomfortable in the place he once called home. He was no longer used to wide hallways and empty rooms. He was no longer used to having his food prepared and room cleaned for him. Alfred did not dwell on it.


	4. Tim.

was a mother hen at heart. Tim had entered expecting the usual rushed cleaness, he was met with the opposite. Dishes pilled up in the sink, some still coated in food. The carpet held numerous stains, of what he thought -hoped- was wine. Random objects had been thrown around the room, including the coach cushions. When Dick went to bed Tim cleaed up for him. It took five hours.

Highs and lows.

They were going to watch a movie. Dick was excited, he wouldn't stop fidgeting. Whilst they waited for Wally Dick had gotten up,paced and then sat down numerous times. He was happy to spend time with his brother. Then Dicks mood shifted. It was like a switch was flipped. He stopped fidgeting and his shoulders slumped. His happy mood gone, replaced by an un-caring and upset mix of emotions. It lasted all night. He did not laugh or smile and he did not talk, answering questions with single syllable words. It put a damper on the night.

Tim put it down to stress. After all Dick was both a vigilante and a cop, he never had a break from crime. Bludhaven was known to be almost as bad as Gotham and Dick did not have anyone to back him up on the worst nights like Batman did. No wonder Dick was stressed. 

Tim chose to ignore the fact that Bludhaven's crime rate had been at its lowest in years.

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	5. Damian

Damian had assessed that Grayson was easy going and a joker ( not literally the Joker) and when Damian would insult him Grayson took it in a stride, usually replying with something witty.

They had been training together, it was nothing unusual. When Damian caused Grayson to loose his footing, successfuly winning the fight, he couldn't help but make a comment about how Grayson was getting weak.

"Your not as young as you used to be Grayson, your looseing your edge. Maybe you should leave crime fighting to more capable hands"

He had meant as a joke so he was surprised when Grayson started yelling.

"Oh yes! Of course a blood thirsty, emotionally stunted boy who has never seen real cruelty is really more capable than me" 

Damian had stood stunned as insults kept pouring out.

"Your own mother rejected you! and anyone who tries to be nice to you are met with snide comments of how they are inadequate. Tell me Damian does it make you feel better about your failures?"

Grayson had only stayed for a couple more seconds, breathing deeply. He left then, slamming the door behind him. Damian had just stood there refusing to acknowledge the pain in his chest. When asked he told Pennyworth his eyes watered from dust and that the butler should do his job properly.

Damian blamed himself for Grayson's abrupt change in personality, because it was true if he was shown kindness he would repay with cruelty. Grayson was always there trying to be nice. Trying to be a brother. He shouldn't be surprised when Grayson snapped.


	6. Bruce Part one.

Bruce was not around to see some of the real give aways to Dick's new pastime, but still as the worlds greatest detective you would think he could figure out something was wrong.

Financial request.

When Dick was in high school Bruce had set aside a small savings account for the boy, it was pennies to Bruce in the grand scheme of things. It had gone untouched. Dick had always felt awkward accepting things from Bruce. He was proud and did not want to be treated like the charity case Gotham's elite often called him. He never closed the account, he just left it there for when Dick needed.

He kept tabs on on all his children. He knew Tim was on a mission with Superboy in Brazil and he knew Jason was on a break from the Outlaws in California. So when Dick announced he had moved apartments it was no suprise. What caught him off guard was the conversation Dick followed the news with.

"You know that account you said you put aside for me?"

His eyes were downcast and he sat awkwardly, hunched over. 

"I-I was wondering if I could use it, if it isn't an inconvenience"

Dick rubbed the back of his head and started picking at his nails, a habit developed due to nerves.

"It's just the apartment isn't in as good shape as I thought and I don't want to cause any inconvenience. I'll pay you back of co-"

He stilled Dick's hand before the boy had no nails left.

"There isn't any inconveinience, the account is yours and you won't have to pay me back."

Dick had looked up at him with a small smile. Bruce had given Dick the account details and that was the end of it.

Bruce was suprised when at the end of two months he learned the account was completely empty. He did not ask Dick about it. He wanted to respect his privacy.


	7. Jason part One

Jason had heard from the rest of the family (mainly Tim) that something was wrong with the golden boy. Unlike them though, he was not going to make up excuses. He was going to find out what was wrong.

Memory loss  
Jason had originally came to Bludhaven on business. He was tracking an abusive pimp, nothing new there. What separated this piece of filth from the rest was the fact he had hurt an old friend of Jason's.  
He had gone to a club the man often visited. He was there for three hours before his target made an appearance. He was in his mid-thirties, tall and muscular. He would be considered attractive by most, it was easy to see how he drew people in. He sat and watched from the bar.

Then Dick walked in.

At first he thought that maybe Dick was here for the same reasons as Jason. To scope out the pimp, Daniel, but he walked over without hesitation. He handed Daniel a brown envelope, Jason knew what was liable to be in there. He thought that maybe Dick was undercover. He did work as a cop. He watched as Daniel handed Dick a couple of notes and then they exchanged words, Jason couldn't hear what was said.

Daniel rose and slowly made his way to a door that led to an alley out back, Dick trailing behind. He waited a minute before following.

He opened the door expecting to see Daniel's arrest. Instead he walked out to see his brother on his knees in front of Daniel a hand clinging to his hair, Jason knew it would be painful.

Jason had stood shocked.   
When he thinks back on it what set him off wasn't the moans falling from Daniel's lips or the fact he had wrapped a hand around Dick's neck, nails digging in deep enough to draw blood. No, it was the fact that when that piece of scum started thrusting forward he had the audacity to claim Dick was his bitch and no-one else could keep him.

Jason had been confused, yes, but he would not let some piece of dirt treat his brother that way. He had snapped Daniel's neck. He wanted to cause pain but Dick was more important. He pulled Daniel's body backwards, away fron Dick, allowing it to fall in a heap on the ground. Dick had fallen in shock, he didn't seem to notice he landed in a puddle. Dick stared up at Jason, blue eyes wide and confused.

Jason held out a hand and pretended that when Dick flinched away it didn't cause a small stabbing in his heart. They remained there, frozen in place, for a minute before Dick timidly gripped Jason's hand.  
"Hey, it's going to be alright. Im going to take you back to your apartment"   
He tried to sound soothing but Dick still looked confused and scared.


	8. Jason Part Two.

Jason didn't know what to do. Dick sat awkwardly, eyes downcast. It wasn't everyday you found your brother doing something .... like that.   
"Dick? Do you want to talk?" Jason tried to keep the anger out of his voice. He wanted answers. It was obvious what Dick's new job on the side is, was. Dick shook his head and curled into a ball, burrowing deep into the couch. He could tell Dick wasn't going to be answering his questions tonight. The thought of involving the Bat entered his mind, it left just as quickly. Jason had been on the receiving end of Bruce's disappointment in the past. That cold gaze and grim frown. Dick's mental state would worsen at the brunt of Bruce's condescending nature. Wherease Bruce would just make Jason angry he would make Dick feel unworthy, timid and in the worse case scenario broken. Jason would not let that happen.

He would stay the night with Dick. To make certain Dick was okay, his questions were still being ignored. He was becoming irritated, needing something to do he went to search for a blanket. He made a point not to leave his gun in the room with Dick.

His living room was a mess but his bedroom looked like Bane had gone on a rampage. The door like someone spent a good five minutes hitting it. There was no organization to anything. Clothes were strewn across the room. A small bedside table had been upturned and carelessly left in a corner. Stains were splattered all over the bed, Jason could guess half of them and it made him sick.

When he finally returned to the living room Dick was standing. A floorboard creaked under Jason's weight. He watched as Dick jumped and turned to face him. The way Dick tensed, ready to flee, didn't go unnoticed. Dick stared at Jason and it was a few moments before any recognition entered the blue orbs.  
"Jason, what?" The confusion coated his voice. Jason didn't know what to do. Dick was clearly disoriented. Jason swiftly moved to make his brother sit down.  
"Why are you here?" The question caught Jason off guard.  
"Don't you remember anything from the last half hour?" A feeling of dread washed over Jason, leaving him cold.  
"No,why?" Jason would say he was hesitant to tell Dick the truth being forced to remember bad memories can do more damage than healing. In truth it was because he was a coward and didn't want to explain what he saw.  
"No reason. I need to go Roy is expecting me to check in." As he left the feeling of something being right only worsened. He was beginning to regret not phoning Bruce.


	9. Bruce Part Two

Secretive behavior

It wasn't often Nightwing joined Batman on patrol. In fact it wasn't often anyone saw Nightwing at all. So later on, at the end of the night, he brought it up. Dick was perched on one of the batcaves railings and Bruce took this moment to observe his son. Dick had always been considerably pale but now he seemed almost sickly. Dick's costume has always been tight and left nothing to the imagination (much to Bruce's distast ) but now he could see that the usually skin tight attire hung loosely in certain places, most noticeably around the arms and torso.

"Dick" the boys head shot up at the sound of his name. "You don't seem yourself" the boy shrugged his shoulders, choosing to focus his attention on the cool metal below him.

"I'm fine, just tired" Bruce didn't believe him, Dick had not been fine for a long time.

"Why are you tired? Bludhaven hasn't had any serious criminal activity in weeks" Bruce watched as a frown marred Dick's features. There are times where Bruce wished for a meta's telepathic abilities, this is one of them.

"That is nothing to do with you. Didn't we agree that you would stay out of Bludhaven's business?" Bruce could hear the veiled anger and knew he would need to choose his words carefully.

"I agreed I wouldn't interfere, not that I wouldn't keep an eye out"

He realized it was the wrong thing to say instantly.

He watched as Dick's mood shifted. A flush settled over his cheeks and his brow twitched. Anger. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and rubs his charger. Uncomfortable. His eyes were wide,pupils dilated, and his breathing laboured. Fear.


	10. Bruce Part Three

"I am not a child" Dick practically growled, hands fisting at his sides.

"But your still one of my sons" Bruce tried to remain indifferent, in control, but he didn't succeed. Even he heard the undertones of desperation.

"That still doesn't give you the right to invade my privacy" He didn't understand why Dick was so angry. Bruce had always been on the alert (over protective) Dick should have known he wouldn't completely turn a blind eye to Gotham's sister city. Not if it could cost him a son.

"I'm not invading your privacy. I'm making sure you don't get yourself hurt or worse!" He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He watched Dick's shoulders tense.

"Yes because i'm such a liability ! Such a child!" Dick ranted on for a good five minutes and Bruce knew. He knew that this, all these cruel words, were years worth of repressed emotions. Dick stormed out not long after.

" I'll speak to you when the need arises"

Bruce should've been able to see what was happening in front of him. The changes in Dick. It is unfortunate that he did not. Maybe it is because of his closeness to Dick that he didn't. His personal view that clouded the usually great detectives vision. Instead Bruce told himself nothing was wrong. There was only so long a person could go before hitting their breaking point.


	11. Jason Part 3

Fear and distrust.

The climax, the breaking point, came to a head the month after Bruce and Dick's 'argument'. Jason had heard about it from Tim. He had phoned Jason, stating his concerns. Jason had admitted he too was worried for Dick and would check in on him. He had only just got around to it.

There was a sense of trepidation has he walked the stairs to Dick's apartment, the building was ancient. The type of place you would see on CSI or Law and Order. Where the suspect lives. Jason hated it. ( He would later admit it reminded him to much of his childhood. His mother and his father) Damp steadily made its way down the wall and if the murky brown color was anything to go by mould would soon start growing. Vomit stains littered the floor and.... was that a cockroach? A shiver ran down his spine.

Dick's apartment was on the top floor, six stories, compared to the rest of the building it was Wayne manor. He owned a key but wanted Dick to retain his privacy. They all heard about the argument with daddy bats.

After the fourth knock with no answer he used the key. The door unlocked but when he tried to push it open he was met with a force that refused to let him. Ice ran through his veins and he paused.

Someone is in there. Someone is in there with Dick and he's hurt. 

Sheer panic running through him it took a minute before he noticed the chain. Jason felt fear lossen its grip and confusion take over.

You can't put chains on from the outside, so where was Dick?

More importantly why wasn't he answering


	12. Jason Part 4

He decided to save time and just kick the door in. It was because of things like this that he wore boots. It didn't take much force, looking at the wall the chains weren't screwed very well. The holes were jagged and crumbling. Jason wondered how many times Dick's door had been kicked in. "Dick?" He didn't feel right. There was something bad in the air.

He drew his gun, just in case. He walked through the apartment. It was silent, that gave an eerie feeling on its own. Of course Jason felt stupid for being nervous. He had faced far worse than a silent flat.

As he moved further in there was noise. It was small but against the silence it was like thunder. He was moving towards the bedroom when he felt an uncomfortable coldness under his foot. He was frozen with dread. Looking down could see a pool of water. He followed its trail to the bathroom. He pushed the door open and bile rose in his throat.


	13. Jason Part 5

Jason had always had fast reflexes, even before the Bat. He had needed them. It was something he felt connected him and Dick, formed a kinship. Having skill was necessary. Bruce and Tim were rich, they didn't need to fight. Damien was born to fight. Only he and Dick gained skill from need.

He reacted quickly. Pulling Dick from the bath and laying him in the recovery position. He heard his brother coughing and rubbed the mans back soothingly. Watching as water was spat on the floor.  
"Jason?" His was hoarse, eyes bloodshot and wide with confusion.  
"Hey buddy." Dick struggled to push himself off of the ground. Jason helped him up, hand resting between his shoulder blades.  
"Easy, where do you think your going?" Jason tried not to sound irritated, really he did, but he was so tired and so frustrated. Something was wrong with Dick, memories of the alley surfaced. Dick wouldn't just do something like that.  
"Bed. Its cold." There was a slight tremble to his voice. 

Jason went to follow but stopped at the sound of glass breaking. He froze mid-motion. Looking down,he momentarily forgot to breath. On the floor was a crushed needle. Jason knew what it was. He had seen his mother. Jason bent down, picking up one of the shards. He brought it to his lips and licked.

There was no denying it, that was heroin. Disbelief left Jason and was replaced by anger.

Of course if he thought about it this made sense. The signs are all there. Everything Tim confided in him, the rants from Barbara, the alley... event. It was all there.

And he was so stupid.

How could he have not seen this? Him of all people! Him who grew up around all this. Him who used to sit outside his apartment whilst his mother, hidden only by thin plaster, entertained men for money. For her next fix. Him who had seen all stages of use and withdrawal. Him who had to watch his mother fade. Watch as skin turned translucent and paper thin, as eyes dulled and weight decreased, figure becoming skeletal.

The memories flooded Jason's vision and his eyes burned. He felt like a child again. Holding his mothers hand, as her breath shallowed. Not comprehending, not seeing, that she wouldn't be waking up in the morning.

The memories twist and change. Instead of holding his mother's hand he is holding Dick's.

Dick who is both feverish and shivering.   
Dick who was hallucinating.   
Dick who was begging and crying for a fix.   
Dick who clawed at himself because of the pain of withdrawal.

Jason balled his fists. There was a crunch and pain in his hand. The shard crushed further in his fist. The images gone. He was no longer at his mothers (or brothers) death bed. Instead he was in a cold bathroom.

When he was a child he was powerless to help his sick mother. He wasn't powerless to help Dick.

He would not, could not, watch him wither away.


	14. Confrontation

When Jason looked back he realizes his actions were rash. He should've gone straight to Bruce or Tim or Barbara or well anyone.

The whole situation was something Jason hadn't prepared for. He had never expected to be in this situation again. So he admits his following actions were a mistake.

He knew how the others would react.  
Barbara would cry, run to daddy and whine about issues she doesn't understand. She would coddle Dick, suffocate him.

Tim was to much like Bruce. To emotionally stunted. He would unintentionally lash out.

Damien, as much as the demon spawn denied it, was a child. This was beyond his mental capacity.

Bruce. He didn't want to even think about Bruce.

So once again when shit hits the fan he has to deal with it.

It was daunting. walking towards Dick's room. He didn't know what to do. What to say. It seemed like the bedroom was miles away, in actual fact it was meters. In what felt like hours he was there knocking tentatively at the door. He heard the creak of splintered wood, the rustling of blankets and then Dick was there. Staring up at Jason. Eyes wide and bright blue.  
"We need to talk." Jason sounded grim and Dick just nodded in his confusion.

They sat in the living room facing each other. Seconds ticked by and Jason knew Dick wasn't going to break the silence.   
"You gonna explain what's going on with you?" So he would.  
"What do you mean? There's nothing going on" Dick was getting agitated. That's how Jason knew he was lying. Dick rarely got defensive.  
"Oh really?" His voice dripped with sarcasm and Dick's face was marred by a scowl.  
"Jason I don't know what you are trying to say but if your gonna start you can get out!" This was blatant lying to his face now, and that is intolerable.  
"I found the needle Dick!" There was satisfaction when Dick froze in shock. "You left it in the bathroom" he hated how meek he sounded.  
"I think you should leave now" Dick said it quietly and Jason laughed. Dick expected him to follow a dismissal. Like Jason was in the wrong here.  
"How can you expect me to leave." It was laughable.  
"Fine then I will!" Jason was stunted. Dick was already at the front door. He doesn't know why but he was just overcome with anger.  Jason went after him. From there it was a screaming match"  
"You've been taking Heroin and God nows what else!"   
"That's nothing to do with you!"

They were at the main doors now and Jason was tired. So he yelled what he once told his mother.  
"Fine you druggie whore! Fuck up your life see if I care"  
Dick was already in the road and Jason turned around.  
Then there was the screeching of tires.  
A sickening thud.  
A woman screaming.  
Jason turned back slowly and froze. Eyes wide and heart in his throat


	15. Hospitals

Jason hated hospitals. They smelt of latex and disinfectant. Everything was a mix of greens and whites, and it was always cold. Not like the cold winter brings but the cold a baby feels when its mothers leaves. The cold felt when your trapped in the dark. Jason hated it.

Unconscious. Broken ribs. Internal bleeding. Fractured wrist. Potential brain damage. Those were the only words Jason picked up, could comprehend. Bruce showed up. Finally decided to pay attention and play daddy. Jason knows he sounds bitter but Bruce caring to late was becoming a regular occurrence.  
If Bruce had been vigilant Jason would never have been blown up.  
If Bruce had trusted them they could've all been prepared for Joker and his family reunion.  
If Bruce was a good father Damien wouldn't of died.  
If Bruce cared he wouldn't have asked Dick to infiltrate Spiral.  
It somehow would always come down to Bruce caring more about the cowl than family.

Bruce had glared at Jason upon arrival. As if this was down to him. Maybe it was. He shouldn't of said that to Dick.

Bruce talked in hushed whispers with the doctor. Jason knew when Bruce started towards him he was about to be interrogated.  
"Are you going to tell me what's going on with my son?" Bruce did that with Dick, Damien and Tim. Refer to them with 'my'. Possessive. He never used that word when talking about Stephanie, Barbara, Cassandra ...or him. He would be lying if he said it didn't sting.  
"Your son is a drug addict" It was a cynical way to break the news and Bruce looked shocked.  
"Jason.." It was said threateningly , as though Bruce believed him to be lying.  
"What? Can't handle that that the golden boy isn't perfect" Jason was getting tired of arguments.  
"Me and Dick will discuss his problem when he's better. What I don't understand is how he got to the hospital." And so Bruce's need to take over begins to surface. He waltzes in demanding answers not easily explained.  
"I found a needle in the bathroom, he almost drowned" Breath, his heartbeat sped at the memory.  
"I asked,confronted, about it"  
Thud....Thud....Thud....  
"He got angry"  
Thud...Thud...Thud...  
"He stormed out"  
Thud..Thud..Thud..  
"I followed, we argued, and I said horrible things"  
Thud.Thud.Thud.  
"I went to leave, there was noise. I turned and Dick was on the floor"  
ThudThudThud

Bruce watched him. Analyzed him.  
"Jason, I think it would be best if you stayed away until Dicks better" He said it so calmly as if they were conversing about lunch. Jason could read subtext. Dick needed family and Jason hadn't been for awhile now.

So Jason left.

He was angry. How dare Bruce! If it was any other situation Jason would've fought tooth and claw but this isn't what Dick needs. Dick doesn't need to wake up to shouting. He needs peace. He needs to recover


	16. Waking Up

Dick ached when he woke. His vision was blurry and the was an irritating beep. He didn't remember much. Him and Jason had been arguing.  
What were they arguing about? Jason found something. What? What? Wha- ohnonohnononono. This was bad.  
"Dick?" It was spoken quietly but still he jumped. Bruce. Well fuck. Dick could just imagine the upcoming arguments.  
"Your in hospital. You've been here for about four days." The words were spoken softly, as though he were a spooked animal.  
"H-hi" Neither of them moved. Bruce stared at him intensely whilst Dick tried to do anything but.  
"Are we going to talk about this now or at home" The message was clear. Now or later but they were talking about it. It was unavoidable.  
"Later is fine" He gave a half hearted smile, Bruce just nodded.

Bruce left not long after to get coffee. Dick had time to look over the room. Including a number of get well cards. The sentiment was lost on him. His mind wondered to Jason. He can't remember all the details but it was obvious Jason told Bruce. A part of him wanted to be angry but mostly he was just tired. Fucking doctors and their medicine.

And know Dick was angry again. The thing with hospitals is that they lacked subtlety. With no effort on his part he over heard the doctor advising Bruce on a range of reliable centres and support groups. What buisness was it of theirs.

He wasn't and addict...he wasn't! He could stop at anytime...he just didn't want to.


	17. Missing Birdie

Dick got himself discharged from hospital two days later. They couldn't actually keep him there if he didn't want to stay. Fuck Bruce and fuck his false concern.   
\------------

They had all gone to the hospital together. Him, Bruce, Tim, Damian and Alfred. All of them ready to play happy families.  
Jason didn't know how he got roped into this, it was probably Alfred's doing. Don't mistake his reluctance to come as lack of care. Its just Jason knows how this is all going to pan out.

They will play happy families for a month. Dick will be on house arrest indefinitely. They will coddle him and treat him like fine china. Something Dick hates, for all of the mans talks on feelings and bear hugs he hated being on the receiving end of such treatment. The underlying issue (whatever it is) won't ever be addressed and the situation will repeat itself until it becomes a never ending cycle.

Jason was a pro with this kinda stuff.

\-----------

"What do you mean he's not here?!"  
"Mr Wayne please calm down"  
"What hospital would allow a boy in that state to discharge himself!"  
" Mr Grayson is a full grown adult and was under no legal obligation to stay. Now if your done yelling leave my waiting room"

\----------  
It hadn't been a long day for Bruce. A long week really. He just didn't understand. What had happened? Dick wouldn't just do this for fun. There was a catalyst. Something to knock over the dominos but what? They had all noticed a change in behavior but why? 

Bruce didn't like feeling confused and he didn't like feeling guilty either and yet here he was. Because this was his fault. He didn't pay attention and now look.

Dick was gone. Discharged himself and ran off. God knows where to. He had sent Tim to his apartment. It had been touched not since that incident. Jason was haunting the upstairs bedroom whilst Damian was haunting the cave trying to do anything and everything to help. Alfred had gone to see if Barbara had any news

And Bruce. Well Bruce just sat in his armchair and felt useless because he had no idea where to start. When had he became so out of touch with Dick's life? He doesn't know where he works, who his friends are, if he had been eating healthy ( evidently he had not) or if he had suffered any serious injuries lately.

Bruce stared at his empty whiskey glass and knew one thing. He was putting the fucking cameras back in Dick's apartment and room in the manor. And then he might bye a leash to be safe.


	18. Clawing

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.  
Can you hear that? Dick could. Over and over. Clawing at his head. There are whispers as well. Constantly. Worse than the clawing.

'Come on Richard'

He lays awake at night. Sometimes angry, but usually terrified. Its always dark and he knows what can be found in the dark.

'You're wasted here'

Scratch. Scratch. Scratch.  
It gets louder and louder. He doesn't know where it comes from. Is someone at the door? Is it in his head? No. No. He's not crazy. There's something out there. Waiting. Watching.

'Come with me, it'll be OK'

That voice over and over. Cold. Harsh. Angry. All the time, everywhere. Why won't it go away? He wants, needs, it to stop.

'Now Richard! I won't ask again'

No. No. No. Go away. Leave me alone. Stop. Stop. Stop it! Please...


End file.
